Don’t Alienate the Kids: Why This Book Should Be Required Reading in Every Divorce

At Edgar & Dow, we’ve spent decades helping families navigate some of the most difficult chapters of their lives. Whether it’s a contested custody battle or a high-conflict divorce, one truth remains constant: the children must come first.

That’s why we want to highlight a book that the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) considers mandatory reading—“Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce” by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is uniquely qualified to speak on this topic. As a therapist, lawyer, and founder of the High Conflict Institute, he’s seen how unchecked conflict can derail co-parenting and leave lasting damage on children. His book is more than just insightful—it’s a practical guide for parents, attorneys, and mental health professionals who want to protect children from the emotional fallout of divorce.

Key Lessons from the Book:

1. Shield Your Children From the Conflict
Divorce is between the adults. Kids should never be caught in the crossfire. Eddy’s book lays out exactly how damaging it can be to speak poorly about the other parent or use a child as a messenger or emotional confidant.

2. Understand High-Conflict Personalities (HCPs)
Some individuals thrive on drama and conflict. Eddy defines the traits of high-conflict personalities and teaches readers how to spot them—and more importantly, how to neutralize the chaos they create.

3. Communicate Using the BIFF Method
BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. It’s a communication strategy designed to keep things civil and reduce escalation, especially in text or email. We often recommend BIFF responses to our clients in high-conflict cases—it works.

4. Prioritize Your Child’s Resilience
Children can thrive after divorce—but only if parents lead with maturity and emotional intelligence. Eddy emphasizes routines, boundaries, emotional support, and stability as the foundation for raising strong, resilient kids.

Why This Matters to Our Clients

At Edgar & Dow, we don’t just litigate—we educate, advise, and guide. When we suggest this book to clients, we’re not just trying to help them get through a case. We’re helping them build a healthier post-divorce life for their children.

Family law isn’t just about legal outcomes. It’s about protecting relationships. And there’s no relationship more important than the one a child has with their parents.

Call to Action:
If you’re facing a high-conflict custody case or are concerned about how divorce may be affecting your child, we can help. At Edgar & Dow, our attorneys have extensive experience in complex custody matters, including cases involving parental alienation and high-conflict personalities.

📞 Schedule a consultation today by calling us at (951) 684-6885 or visiting www.edgarfamilylaw.com. Let us help you protect what matters most—your children’s future.